zylimis

....update on the state of this med school.....

There is some consolidation now. What I realized early last year is now (finally) being realized by the rest of the med school class. Most people are now up in arms against the curriculum, and finally realize the many pitfalls that the leaders have fallen into.

It doesn't make me any happier with the state of affairs. But I do in some ways feel like saying "I told you so" to the people who weren't willing to listen to me ages ago and thought I was just making things up for the sake of complaining or gaining attention - and are just now complaining of the same shortfalls and blindheadedness of the leaders of this curriculum.

Funny thing is: now that everyone's riled and up in arms, they're talking about an organized boycott... but it's too late. If we do that now we're only going to screw ourselves.

But in terms of design, the leaders couldnt' have put us in a better catch-22. Many people have realized that if we follow the curriculum, we're almost guaranteed to fail the boards. So they've already stopped following the curriculum and are just studying on their own. But, if we do well on the step 1 boards, the leaders can use that to justify their new curriculum. If we don't do well - we only screw ourselves over.

C'est la vie.

As I told a friend of mine: Spending 1.5 years now in the midwest has only reinforced my stereotype of the midwest: that people are less willing to entertain new ideas or critique their ways -- until the deficiencies are so blatantly obvious that it begins to directly affect their lives.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/10/surgeon.general.ap/index.html

I always guessed that without their own independent budget and without more independence, the role of the Surgeon General would be heavily influenced by politics, but hearing my guesses confirmed with specific evidence and instances from the man himself - this still surprised me.

This is a question that I was asked last year.  Surprisingly, it comes back to mind every once in a while.  Especially in one of these study sessions.  I won't go into my answer.  But what would you answer if someone asked that of you right now? 

As for me, now that I think about it - I ifind that there is an element of selfishness in me right now.  I'm at the start of my career, I have no idea what I'm going to end up doing.  But I know I can't settle for just anything.  And so my focus is on myself.  Perhaps that makes me spoiled.  On the other hand, this is a time when I *should* concentrate on myself and invest in myself to become more productive in the future.  It makes perfect sense and sounds logical at least in my head.  Yet for some reason, I still feel guilty that I'm not able to do more.

This feels like freshman year all over again.

Apparently history has been made yet again - for the first time in 6/7 years the school's been closed down due to the tons of snow we've been getting.  Rather surprising for a city used to snow, but probably for the better.  Yesterday there were immense numbers of accidents on the roads - this even with all the cars driving 5mph.  It took us about 45 minutes to get to places that would normally take 15.  There were traffic jams from stalled cars, cars slipping down hills, and cars swerving into the wrong lanes.

The only difference between now and freshman year: how do I commemorate this gorgeous event?  By sleeping in and then going back to hit the books.  Yay for med school!!

Happy 2007!!!

I love the New Year holiday more and more as I get older. Something about the chance to start anew, even though I know it's really no different than any other start of a new day, makes me feel giddy and happy.

2006 wasn't too bad: I had an amazing last semester WITH NO CLASSES!!! I graduated and saw all my friends and their parents *tear*. Took a nice long family vacation - and then... I went to MED SCHOOL!!! Even though I admittedly don't like every moment of it (or large chunks of it), I still feel like it's the right field for me.

And in 2007....my BIRTHDAY will be 07/07/07!!!! I have big big expectations for this year because *obviously* it's my year :P.

Oh and I'm starting it off with a new cell phone too :P

My New Year's resolutions:
1. Be happy
2. Wake up when my alarm clock says to

I think if I keep it nice and short I might actually be able to accomplish it :P

Happy New Year and hope you all had a wonderful celebration with your friends and families!

1. I get to the train station at 4AM for my 6AM flight.
2. The train is late and arrives at 4:20. The train takes 40 minutes so at this point I'm already on edge and cutting it close.
3. Right when I think "Thank God", the train pulls up, DOESN'T OPEN ITS DOORS and then SPEEDS OFF and leaves me and the other passenger waiting looking at each other in disbelief. The train conductor MUST have seen us since we were directly in his line of sight as he pulled up. But no, he never even opens his doors before he rushes off.
4. It's 4:30. The next train isn't in 30 minutes and I definitely won't make it in time for my flight if I take that. I have exactly $2 cash on me because I never expected this to happen and so I can't call a taxi. (STUPID)
5. I have to call a friend out of bed to take me to the airport. At this point I'm a nervous wreck because another friend has told me that check-in closes at 5:15 for my flight. And now add that to waking someone up at 4:30 AM....I feel lower than rotten for dragging him out of bed, although he was nice about it.
6. Everything's fine at the airport I check in in time and get on the plane safely.
7. I get to Chicago where I'm exhausted and fall asleep with my bag, my violin, and my cell phone all around me. My cell phone at this point I remember was near my head as I went to sleep.
8. I wake up. My cell phone's gone. I go running back and forth between terminals to search for it - at the same time I realize now that I have no way of contacting anyone - my parents, the phone company.
9. I get to San Diego. Because my phone's not on, my parents think my flight hasn't arrived yet. I wait outside for 2 hours until they come around to looking for me. Have already asked people to page the whole airport in case they're in the area.
10. Get home. Call T-mobile to suspend my account.
11. Find out that someone has made international phone calls to POLAND on my phone. Not only that, they have the decency to check my VOICEMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. I am now stranded without a phone, responsible for charges I never made. I am almost tempted to call the phone number in Poland to harass them.

13. Merry Christmas to you too.

Bah Humbug. or whatever he said.

This is kind of long, but trust me it's worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp0HyxQv97Q

Now that I've finally started opening myself to things other than my med school problems, I've once again hit upon the age-old question of - what I want to be.

1. Doctor/Surgeon
2. Clinical/Research
3. Public Health? Public Service?

What do I want to do? Getting into med school was just the step through the door - but there are too many decisions down the line and I don't know what can help me figure things out. I have all this energy and no clear path to direct it into.

For example I finally took stock of how much time I've used/wasted:
Watched about 6 dramas - with like 16 episodes each!
Read 2.5 novels
Not to mention youtube
Man I'm a slacker.

But got 3 tests back to back to back - 1 Thursday, 2 Friday, and another one Monday. So gotta study.

If I have to hear that again -- I'm going to bloody scream. So, this seems to be a favorite in my school among the administrators. Seriously, if things go wrong and students complain or point it out, it's deemed "unprofessional". Directly from an email sent out regarding feedback sessions:

"Our class was also asked to refrain from asking lecturers directly to post their power-point slides ahead of time. Those in charge of such things are reminding the lecturers that they should provide these files ahead of time, and having our class ask again after lecture is viewed as unprofessional. Rest assured that every effort is being made to make these materials available as soon as possible."

Medicine I've found so far is the oddest combination of ultra-liberal and ultra-conservative principles. On the one hand, scientific thinking and questioning and investigation is held up as the gold standard, yet the system itself - at least from my perspective at a relatively liberal and well-known medical school - is ridiculously hierarchial and territorial and students, when they do go slightly off-line are sent to their deans and called unprofessional to bring them back in line. Perhaps not at an individual level, but at the systems level, parts of this year so far have reminded me of China and the political undercurrents there.

The weird thing - I've never considered myself a trouble-maker, but maybe my principles have changed more than I even thought.

I think I finally understand why people say women can be a lot worse than men.

Women can be truly petty, competitive, and jealous. And for some reason, I've noticed that women tend to trust men more than each other. Not all women are like that. But I think I've met some now that are. And women aren't generally like that to other women in their "herd" but if not in their herd, yes...

Just an observation, but something I had to get off of my chest.

I responded to an email sent out to the class urging us to look into neurosurgery, since I liked course 9...

Within about an hour - the chief of pediatric neurosurgery and vice-chairman of neurosurgery department both responded back to me and gave me their contact info to set up a time to meet them. Wow. Incredibly fast response...that's all I have to say... (and yeah...intimidating too, since I was basically expecting them to put me in touch with a resident, not meet with them personally...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCLEkX7Q-uk

It's heartbreaking, but captivating.

This is truly amazing: the stuff that scientists find out from all these in-vitro fertilization experiments...

"Ovulation occurs primarily in the morning during Spring and primarily in the evening during Autumn and Winter. From July to February in the Northern Hemisphere, about 90% of women ovulate between 4-7 PM, during Spring, 50% of women ovulate between midnight and 11AM...."
-Speroff 7th Ed.

I've found that this new curriculum doesn't really teach - it tells you what you don't know and then you have to go find all the info. So, I've been seeking out different books to try and see what works and then try to learn everything on my own. Our curriculum requires much more integration than textbooks out there, so I've been drawing from anatomy, physio, internet, embryology textbooks, and primary papers to learn all this stuff.

This week it's been reproduction, sex cells, and all the stuff associated with it. It's hard and not the most efficient way of learning since I have to weed through so many resources and all the overlapping material, but I now know a good overview of the pelvic/perineum bones, muscles, internal and external organs/genitalia, all in 3-D mind you, reproduction, male/female hormone cycles, in addition to embryology. I wonder how other schools teach this stuff and how deep they go in these fields. Whew!

Oh, and Wikipedia is my friend

In today's MSNBC online is an article reporting a study saying that taller people are smarter...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14517687/

It is chaos here. Chaos.

The Dean of our med school just announced his resignation. The students - all 4 years - are calling for blood. The school is without effective leadership because within the past 6 months, the President of the entire university resigned from a vote of no-confidence, and 4 Deans of schools have resigned - with a 5th one pending.

It is nuts here.

It is also unfair to the faculty in place right now who are responsible for this new curriculum. This entire new curriculum was the Dean's baby - he pushed heavily for it DESPITE strong opposition from faculty. It is now just 6 weeks into its infancy and he ups and leaves and washes his hands completely clean. Now the administration is meeting with students - and the interim President also just met with us today, but I know they are working extremely hard, but just not enough leadership.

What on earth is going on?! We have a strong reputation from the old days. But will my education value in four years be what I thought it would be coming in?? I took a gamble, but I did NOT gamble on having the stewart of this entire concoction jumping ship.

On TOP of that, the Dean flat out lied to us. After his resignation, he sent out an email 1.5 hours - 1.5 hours!! - before a meeting he called with the students. Why? To limit the numbers of students who came? Sounds like it to me. More than that, when we asked him questions, he bobbed and weaved like the best of the politicians. It made me sick. Nothing drove that home more so than today when we spoke with the interim President. Yesterday when we charged him with lying to us from the start - from our recruitment, interviews, up to our matriculation and even past, the Dean told us that he had only thought about the new position within the past 3 weeks. Today the President told us he had heard rumors of the Dean starting to look for positions elsewhere starting in 2005. One of our classmates also questioned the Dean on his Professionalism - which he has been lecturing us on over the past 6 weeks. He conveniently forgot to address that question in his answer. A second student brought up his selective memory for our questions and asked that he address it. Which he again oiled his way past.

Now, why is the Dean so important? After all, people leave. And the med school doesn't mean him. The reason for us first years is crucial. He set into motion this new curriculum. He had a vision of where he wanted it to go. Faculty resisted, complained, objected in its implementation because they did not agree this was the best way. Now he leaves. What does that mean for us? Furthermore, the med school is the stewart of this entire university, and if his leaving - in addition to the condition of the rest of the university - damages our reputation - what does that mean for my future when I'm applying for residency? Yes, I will get my MD degree. I'll pass, I'm sure. But will I be able to do what I want to do and be competitive nationally? That's a key question.

My class is pissed because we feel lied to. We feel let down. And most importantly, our confidence in our school is shaken.

I will either get an ulcer or have a heart attack at an early age at the rate I'm going.

Bloody hell I'm pissed.

I am continuously amazed at the quality of Korean and Japanese dramas now. I've been watching Damo (historical Korean drama) and Rondo (Japanese). If anyone else ever gets the chance or want to try something non-Western, I would highly recommend these two. (Damo first, followed by Rondo.). Unfortunately, the Chinese and Taiwanese are still far behind...

A music video for Damo to give a general overview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofDDnk2i16Y (official MV - has spoilers)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm97U4z-S2Q

We're about to finish block 1: becoming a doctor, and seriously, I'm either a really bad slacker or my class is just nuts.

People are staying after school at their desks and in the library studying. My question is: studying what?? I feel like all we've learned so far is:

1. don't be sexist/racist/etc
2. don't mess up when you're a doctor(but if you do, think about why the system allowed you to mess up)
3.how to interpret mean/median/p-value
4. Know how to calculate sensitivity/specificity of tests.
5. Healthcare costs are unsustainable and messed up
6. Format of different studies: rancom control trials vs. cohort studies vs. case-studies.

Seriously. That's all we've learned the first 6 weeks. So I'm really confused. What on earth is everyone studying?? Am I missing something here??